The goods

Car Alarm T-shirt

Car Alarm T-shirt

What's this? Stuff you can wear? Will wonders never cease! Yes. They cease right after you snag this beauty.

Hola, amigos! So you've stumbled upon possibly--neigh, definitely--the best pop culture shirt ad this side of that other thing you bought at the expo the other day when you were half drunk and couldn't quite walk straight.

This is the Car Alarm T-shirt, personally authorized by the book author himself. Comes in black and is available in any size between small and extra-extra-large for those of you who like wearing flags. Toddler sizes also available in white. Hey, I'd offer this thing in neon green if I could and you asked for it! But don't ask for it. You'd look like a highlighter. Seriously, man.

Comes complete with holes for arms, torso, and even head! Extra holes made upon request. Like, if you had wings, I could cut out a couple of extra tears in the shoulder blades just so those majestic flappers could breathe.

Preorder now and, for a limited time only, snag yourself a free high-five!

A Gildan® 5000, made from heavy cotton. Preorders happening right now! Be the envy or at least a topic of conversation among all your friends!

Car Alarm would be proud...if he were intelligent enough to feel pride.

Buyer beware, 'cause everything is all downhill after this purchase.

$20 + shipping. Preorder this amazing addition to your wardrobe!